In Pride’s Stead

37 comments

Spring blossoming tree. Dreaming girl on swing.

Fate has a strange sense of humor,

don’t you think?

There being no room for the likes of me –

I don’t fit inside their narrow box.

Swing with a Vintage processing filter

I’m not surprised, just tired.

The street on my skin not in fashion,

go figure.

The street in my eyes reflected back in disdain.

Park chain swing detail

Their eyes telling meย 

I’m not right for the job.

A high school drop out with shoes

worn down by the pavement.

two swings

They want that happy smileย 

worn by other blind sheep.

I’m not surprised, just tired of tryin’.

Waitin’ in line for a hand up

or a hand down? In here,

no one cares – pride left at the door.

Swing wooden seat hanging by rope with green background

Mine left on the bus,ย 

needing to travel light.

Instead, I learned not to cry

just because it’s unfair –

owning more time than faith.

Faith the currency of thoseย too busy to see.

Swings in winter

ยฉ2016 Brenda Baker

37 comments on “In Pride’s Stead”

  1. Brenda, we are inspiring each other, I think. Your words spoke to me so poignantly so strongly. Regardless of the struggles or the disdain, I refuse to let go who I am. Beautifully written. Just beautiful post. And I love love love your new look here. It’s so soft and feminine. Perfect for you!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ โค

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Amy! ๐Ÿ™‚ I have to admit that I also love the new look. It’s taken me a while to get there, but I’m finally happy with my blog. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you so much for your beautiful feedback on my poem. I always feel encouraged to keep going after I’ve read your comment, it never fails to make me smile. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. “Fate has a strange sense of humor,
    donโ€™t you think?”

    I connected with this line because I always joke that God has a weird sense of humor! A good example is that my husband and I are separated (for many horrific reasons) and though he is long gone all I have to do is look at our daughter and see her little antics and yep, he’s still around! Good one God! So yes, life can certainly be a bit “twisted” sometimes.

    “Faith the currency of thoseย too busy to see.”

    This sentence left me a bit perplexed. To me, faith is the ability or choice to believe without seeing. To believe in person to keep their word because you know their character. To believe your car will take you to your destination because it is in good working order. To believe your legs will take you up a flight of stairs because you’re in good shape. To believe God will care for you because He always keeps His promises.

    So if I understand your sentence correctly,
    If we are “too busy to see”, does it mean we are too busy because we are more focused on living life and having faith that things will turn out the way it’s meant to? Or does it mean something else?

    This poem on a left me in deep thought. It speaks to the loneliness and longing for acceptance one can feel even when surrounded by many people.

    I love poems that make me think. This one certainly accomplished that! Thanks for tickling my brain โ˜บ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You understood correctly. When I wrote โ€œFaith the currency of those too busy to seeโ€, I was referring to people’s busy lives that are so filled with the day to day that they don’t always see the less fortunate right in front of them, while retaining their faith in the future.

      This series of poems is about a young girl who now finds herself on the street and consequently feels abandoned and rejected by society. Due to her current circumstance, she has a lot of time to think and reflect, but has no faith in her future.

      When I wrote “Fate has a strange sense of humor, donโ€™t you think?”, Autumn is expressing her sense of rejection by fate as she struggles to find work, but is continuously turned down. As you highlighted, many of us can relate to fate’s strange sense of humor, and so Autumn has learned one of life’s lessons, losing some of her childhood innocence in the process-symbolized by the swings.

      I also wanted to highlight the irony that while the rest of us have so little time, we do have faith in the future. Whereas Autumn has much more time, but no faith in the future.

      Autumn is young and I’m trying to share that young voice. I’m trying to convey her thoughts as she struggles to survive and move forward. I’m not quite sure where I’m headed with the series, but I’m enjoying sharing her journey.

      Right now, the poems offer no hope, and might be perceived as a little dark in tone. This is to reflect Autumn’s emotional state at this point in her story.

      I have to say that I’m honored by your feedback and your questions. I’m not really sure how the poem is being received by those who read it. Your feedback lets me know that I’m on the right track. When I started these poems, I wanted to give a voice to someone who might not otherwise have one.

      Thank you so much for taking the time to offer such valuable feedback. ๐Ÿ™‚ Wishing you a beautiful day! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. This is wonderful! To give a voice to someone who might not otherwise have one speaks volumes — kudos!!

        I love digging around the minds of others… I love the mental stimulation.

        It’s very interesting how having time to think can send our thoughts to the darkest of places (been there). But I definitely see the irony you speak of. When were busy were basically on autopilot — in survival mode.

        In my opinion, a healthy solution for this young girl would be to get her busy. The less time we have to focus on our own problems the faster were able to get out of our rot.

        When on the run from my ex, our family endured a lot of loss. Furnishings, keepsake items, separation from our family pet and being uprooted from my home of 10+ years. That massive loss could have sent me into deep depression. But because I had a 3 month old baby depending on me I had no time to think. My primary focus was on her. I dealt with my loss later via my writing. That’s when I started this blog. It was my form of therapy.

        Keep writing, I’ll be reading! ๐ŸŒท

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you. ๐Ÿ™‚ I would agree that having too much time to think isn’t always healthy. In the meantime, we all need time to sort through our thoughts, so balance is key. ๐Ÿ™‚

        I had no idea that you come from such a tough background. I’m so sorry that you had to go through so much loss and pain. It had to be very difficult for you, especially with a young baby. You’re obviously a very strong woman to have made it where you are now. ๐Ÿ™‚

        Writing is great therapy. I’ve never been one to express my thoughts out loud, so my blog allows me to finally share them in a manner that’s more comfortable for me.

        I love your blog, so I’m glad that you started despite its origin. Did you ever write about those experiences? If so, I would love to read what you wrote. ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I agree, balance is key. Good point.

        Indeed, I’ve had a tough life, but I’ve learned to treat the lessons of my trials as preparation for something bigger to come. That tough life gave me the character I have today and has given me the opportunity to appreciate what really matters.

        Yes I’ve written about some of my experiences here’s one. Beware, It’s pretty graphic!
        https://moylomenterprises.com/2014/12/09/and-then-i-cried/

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Reblogged this on Inner Ramblings Boulevard: and commented:
    Happy Saturday everyone!
    Hope your weekend is off to a lovely start.
    Say hello again to Brenda, this week’s quiz winner. This is her second win and thus her second round to earn a spot in our weekend ‘Showcase Reblog’. Congrats Brenda!!!

    So without further ado, feast your eyes and mind on her lovely poem below. I must admit it was a bit of a brainteaser for me as it provoked a lot of in depth thought on life, faith, God, fate etc (see my comment in her comment feed). Have a read and see if you agree. Enjoy! ๐ŸŒท

    September 17 2016 (Showcase Reblog)

    Liked by 1 person

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